I'll Never Be The Same
Confusion reigns within my heart,
within my soul, because
I know I cannot ever be
The woman I once was.
How can I be complete & whole
When part of me is gone..
A special part..a precious part...
The part that was my son?
Conceived in love, how gratefully
I bore you..filled with pride;
A bit of my heart, a bit of my soul
Went with you when you died.
One cannot lose a child to death
And still remain the same,
Untouched by tears of emptiness,
Undaunted by the pain.
The cruelest nightmares come to pass
Life's itterest pill to swallow;
In light of this, I can endure
All else that's yet to follow.
There's nothing that can fill the empty
Spaces that remain;
I've tried and failed so many times,
I cannot try again.
No trying to regain the past...
That's all a bitter sham...
It's time that I resign myself
To being who I am.
To be the woman I've become
(No acting out a part)...
A mother with a shattered dream
And a broken heart.
Gone yet not forgotten,
although we are apart.
Your spirit live within me
forever in my heart.
The Broken Chain
We little knew that morning that god was going to call your name,
In life we would love you dearly, in death we do the same.
It broke our hearts to lose you, but you did not go alone;
for part of us went with you the day god called you home.
You left us peaceful memories, your love is still our guide,
and though we cannot see you, you are always by our side.
Our family chain is broken & nothing seems the same,
But as God calls us one by one, the chain will link again.
Smallest Wingless :
Dear son, we've been waiting for you
Thrilled beside ourselves that you've arrived
White coats came in, heads held low
Talked for a bit, shuffled outside
We closed the curtains,
Held each other,
And cried
We said hello at the same time that we said goodbye.
And smallest wingless, oh you came to us
Leaving as soon as you'd arrived
But sadness is just love wasted
With no heart to place it inside
We closed the curtains,
Held each other,
And cried
We said hello at the same time that we said goodbye.
We closed the curtains
Held on to one another
And cried
We said hello at the same time that we said goodbye.
My Friend
You say to me, "It's been a year,
when will your grieving end?"
"Why can't you be like you once were,
my smiling happy friend?"
If you really want an answer,
though, I wonder if you do,
I'll take you deep inside me,
where sadness dims the view.
First, my "friend" for your sake,
come close and take my hand,
And we will pray that what I share,
you won't have to understand.
The me you once knew is no more,
it died with my child,
A voice was stilled forever, yet,
the echo drives me wild.
You say you lost Aunt Bertha,
so you have known death too,
Aunt Bertha, however, was not your child,
and she was eighty, not only new.
I barely survived that first month,
coping was a dreadful task,
I'd tell you I was fine,
while sobbing behind my mask.
If I talked about my precious child,
you turned away in fear,
You couldn't stand to see me cry,
nor would you share my tears.
I wanted to speak of him, please,
won't you say his name?
But, you pretend he never was,
so he died over and over again.
Oh, I see that you're uncomfortable,
You no longer want my hand,
so as it was before we talked, my "friend",
you don't want to understand!!!
A heart of gold stopped beating
Two shining eyes at rest
God broke our hearts to prove
He only takes the best
No farewell words were spoken
No time to say goodbye
You were gone before we knew it
And only god knows why?
You were our little angel
we loved to hold so close,
the softness of your baby skin
like petals of a rose.
We loved it when we cuddled you
and held you in our arms.
You were our little angel
with sweet angelic charms.
We think back to memories
so precious and so few,
for one day God had chosen you
to be his angel too.
Clouds of love God's special wings
That soar with special grace
Each wing of gentle beauty
The gift of God's pure lace
Each Child that enters Heaven
For all that they have suffered
They feel a special glow
Their life now a sweet rainbow
Gathered in the softness
Of God's most Precious Love
Children gathered in His Arms
He welcomes them above
Carried to a higher place
Where Gardens always bloom
Scents of flowers fill the air
Such special velvet looms
On this earth their hearts belong
While in the sky they fly
Bringing glow within us now
Their laughter heard from high
Look upon a silken cloud
Sparkling wings abound
Gathered in The royal place
With diamond halos crowned.
|
JENNIFER PARRIS |
April 26, 2009 |
HALLMARK
Dear Mr. Hallmark, I am writing to you from heaven, and though it must appear
A rather strange idea, I see everything from here.
I just popped in to visit, your stores to find a card
A card of love for my mother,as this day for her is hard.
There must be some mistake I thought, every card you could imagine
Except I could not find a card, from a child who lives in heaven.
She is still a mother too, no matter where I reside
I had to leave, she understands, but oh the tears she's cried.
I thought that if I wrote you, that you would come to know
That though I live in heaven now, I still love my mother so.
She talks with me, and dreams with me; we still share laughter too,
Memories our way of speaking now, would you see what you could do?
My mother carries me in her heart, her tears she hides from sight.
She writes poems to honor me, sometimes far into the night.
She plants flowers in my garden, there my living memory dwells
She writes to other grieving parents, trying to ease their pain as well.
So you see Mr. Hallmark, though I no longer live on earth
I must find a way, to remind her of her wondrous worth.
She needs to be honored, and remembered too
Just as the children of earth will do.
Thank you Mr. Hallmark, I know you'll do your best
I have done all I can do; to you I'll leave the rest.
Find a way to tell her, how much she means to me
Until I can do it for myself, when she joins me in eternity.
Don't Cry
Don't Cry
Daddy, please don't look so sad
Mama, please don't cry
Cause im in the arms of Jesus, and he sings me lullibies.
Please try not to question, God
Don't think he is unkind.
Don't think he sent me to you and then changed his mind
You see, I am a special child,
and i'm needed up above.
I'm the special gft, you gave him,
the product of your love.
I'll always be there with you,
and watch the sky at night.
Find the brightest star that's gleaming,
that's my halos brilliant light.
You'll see me in the morning frost,
that mists your window pane.
That's me in the summer showers,
i'll be dancing in the rain.
When you feel a little breeze,
from a gentle wind that blows,
that's me, i'll be there planting a kiss on your nose.
When you see a child playing,
and your heart feels a tug,
That's me, i'll be there giving your heart a hug.
So Daddy, please don't look so sad,
Mama please don't cry.
I'm in the arms of Jesus, and he sings me lullibies.
