March 28, 2010
Dear Steven,
If everything had gone as expected & you were born on your due date you would be one year old tomorrow. I can't help but wonder what you would be like & picture you running (or at least walking) around. I am so excited to have a new baby girl on the way, but it is going to be hard to take all of your clothes out of the drawers & re-do your room. Even though all that stuff will be gone, your memory will still live on forever in my heart. My love for you will never end. Love, Mommy
Feb. 16, 2010
Dear Steven,
It's hard to believe it's been a year. I remember everything as if it were only yesterday. I want you to know you are thought about every single day & will never be forgotten. So many people love & miss you every day. Can't wait to see you again someday but until then you will live in my heart.
Love, Mom
June 5, 2009
Dear Steven ,I am going to see Lisa Williams today . She is a medium who passes on messages from those who have crossed over. I would really love to receive a message from you. It would be a life changing experience for me in a very positive way. I need to know that you are really around & that there is more life after death. I thank my friend Tammy for giving me this wonderful opportunity, she is truely a great friend! Mommy
May 25, 2009 Memorial Day
We went to a movie today & a part of the movie made me think about how much Daddy wanted a son & how he was all ready making so many plans for you. He was all ready talking about starting you in karate, you playing sports & going to sporting events with you. He would finally have someone to team up with, since us girls have him out numbered! I pictured the two of you playing basketball together & throwing the baseball around. I truely hope that one day his dream can be fulfilled & god will give him the son he deserves. He is such a wonderful dad. I held such a sweet baby over the weekend & she snuggled right up to me & put her head on my shoulder & let me rock her in my arms. It felt so wonderful to hold her, it made me think that I should be holding you & rocking you in my arms & taking care of you. I know that I will not be able to hold you until we meet on the other side, but I hope some day soon god will also grant my wish & give me the boy I so want. Life seems so unfair sometimes. All the people who are doing horrible things to their children & we would've given anything to have you. I pray to God that he will give us a second chance at having a son & that you are watching & guiding us from above. The room is waiting, all we need is a baby to fill it. Of course if our wish is ever fullfilled, you will never be forgotten. You will forever be our first son. I love you with all my heart. Mommy
May 10, 2009 Mother's Day
My dearest Steven,
Today is my first Mother's Day since your passing. I have been thinking about you all day & wishing you were here with us. It seems so strange to know I should have a sweet little boy with me, yet you are not here. You would be almost 3 months old . I bet you would be smiling by now. It's so sad that instead of being able to hold you & take care of you, I can only go to your grave & stare. I walk past your bedroom every day & try to imagine what it would be like if you were here. Your sisters miss you so much, they talk to you often & enjoy visiting your grave with me. Daddy also misses you, he had so many plans for you & him. It is so hard going through each day thinking of you constantly & trying to pretend as if everything is o.k. So many people are afraid to talk about what happened because they do not want to upset me, what they do not understand is that talking about you is what I need to do to help me feel better. When people say nothing, it makes me feel as if they don't care or that they don't think it's a big deal, however it is a big deal to me. I hope you are watching over us from the other side & know how much we all care for you. With much love, Mommy
Happy First Easter Steven!
