Dearest Steven,
It has been over 4 months now, yet the pain is still here for all of us who were hoping so much to meet you & watch you grow into a handsome man. We had so many hopes & dreams for you. You were going to be our little Hawkeye. Daddy was all ready talking about the sports you would play & things the two of you would do. Taylor & Brooke could not wait to play with you & see you in all of the new clothes we had waiting for you. Your grandparents, aunts & uncles were so excited as you would be the first Grandson & nephew on my side of the family. I was especially eager to meet you after carrying you in my belly & feeling all of your movements inside of me for 34 weeks. We were all counting the weeks until you would make your glorious arrival.
Unfortunately, things did not go as we all hoped. There would be no baby to hold, no birth announcements to mail, no feeding & rocking you in the night. No Son, Grandson, Brother, Nephew. No little Hawkeye for us to hold. We will never get to see your first smile, laugh, or even hear your first cry. Instead we are all the ones left crying with only an empty feeling inside, wondering how & why did this happen to us.
For some reason that is beyond our knowledge & out of our control, God needed you to stay with Him instead of coming to us. Perhaps you needed to stay & be with your Grandpa & Great-Grandparents & help guide us from the other side on our spiritual journeys. Although this has been the hardest thing I’ve ever had to go through in my life, I feel your passing has made me stronger & hopefully a better person. I have learned many lessons from this & I believe I will continue to learn more as the days go by. I have learned to never take a moment for granted & to live your life to the fullest, for it can be taken at any time. Most of all cherish the ones you love for they may not be here tomorrow. Times like this show us who we can lean on & how to be someone that others can go to as well. This is not something I would have ever chosen to happen to anyone, but since it has we can only move on & grow from our experiences. I do believe this happened for a reason although it is hard to understand right now.
Steven, we will always remember you & cherish the time we got to spend with you after your passing. You will always be loved by many. The sun will rise the sun will set, but we will never forget. You have forever changed all of our lives. Until we meet again in heaven, we love you sweet boy & God bless, Mom.
